5.09.2012
Election Year
I have always believed same sex couples should be allowed to marry. What rang true in Obama's statement today, in my eyes, was his questioning of how America can continue to shape children into believing that some Americans have rights while others do not based only on their beliefs and lifestyle? These children, who like Obama said, would never think twice that same sex couples don't have equal rights; and this includes my own son. Phin has 2 different friends in school who have same sex parents, and yes he has asked why one has two daddies and the other two moms, but it would never cross his mind that they are not or should not be treated fairly, why would it, why should it?! We teach our children to respect others beliefs and choices in life, and this point is no different. It's about time.
I am proud of my president today for standing for what is right, not what may be or not be politically correct in an election year.
My response to Obama's statement below today:
I believe that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry.
I hope you'll take a moment to watch the conversation, consider it, and weigh in yourself on behalf of marriage equality:
http://my.barackobama.com/Marriage
I've always believed that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally. I was reluctant to use the term marriage because of the very powerful traditions it evokes. And I thought civil union laws that conferred legal rights upon gay and lesbian couples were a solution.
But over the course of several years I've talked to friends and family about this. I've thought about members of my staff in long-term, committed, same-sex relationships who are raising kids together. Through our efforts to end the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, I've gotten to know some of the gay and lesbian troops who are serving our country with honor and distinction.
What I've come to realize is that for loving, same-sex couples, the denial of marriage equality means that, in their eyes and the eyes of their children, they are still considered less than full citizens.
Even at my own dinner table, when I look at Sasha and Malia, who have friends whose parents are same-sex couples, I know it wouldn't dawn on them that their friends' parents should be treated differently.
So I decided it was time to affirm my personal belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry.
I respect the beliefs of others, and the right of religious institutions to act in accordance with their own doctrines. But I believe that in the eyes of the law, all Americans should be treated equally. And where states enact same-sex marriage, no federal act should invalidate them.
12.29.2011
Childhood memories
This time of year, after the Christmas whirlwind, I often feel reflective and a bit nostalgic at the same time. Today, I drove home from Goldthwaite with my sleeping child in the back seat, with Greg Brown and John Prine stories coming through the speakers it's hard not to reminisce. Troy had to stay home for most of the trip this year because of our ailing and aging pets, perhaps that is why this year I felt particularly remenisent; feeling more like my mother's child, a granddaughter, a niece, a sister, and a mom during this time with my family, and less like a wife.
The hill country is where my family gathers each year, and this tradition has been happening since before I was born. I can remember many a Christmas eves spent there, with my sisters and cousins, usually always at my grandparent's house in the country. Everyone has memories of their childhood around this time of year, yet this year was was a bit different. Instead of reflecting on my own memories, I saw memories being etched in Phin's mind, memories that I know he will cherish and remember for years to come.
The setting for this years family gathering was at my aunt and uncle's ranch. They have a lot of land, when you sit on their back porch, you look out into the rolling Texas hills, without seeing the end of it. This is what I remember as a child, spending many vacations on a ranch in the county. Back then, to my cousins, my sisters and I were "city girls", but we were more like "sheltered suburbanites" looking back, and those respites from the ticky tacky suburban life I lived were a welcome change. This year, the weather could not have been more perfect, mid 60's and sunny skies were the back drop for the week in this lazy little hill country town. The one day Troy was able to drive up and spend most of the day with us was just such a day. Even in this touchscreen world we live in now, and despite the plethora of new gadgets and gizmos, the cousins spent much of the day outside, tossing a football, wielding a lightsaber, or practicing their gymnastics, all under the warm winter sky.
Troy, my sister's husband Lawrence, and Phin set out to walk the pasture for a bit. This was the first time Phin had been "off the beaten path" so to speak, and I must admit that I was a bit nervous as I watched Phin's little figure fade into the horizon of the landscape, though I was more at ease knowing that there were two adults with him if anything should happen. Two hours had passed while I sat, patiently awaiting their return. Now this goes without saying, but I am an anxious mother, one who worries way too much, so I felt that this was a big step me.
As I waited, I could not help but recall the many journeys into the country that my cousins and I ventured on as young children without two adult chaperones and a cell phone no less, and we all survived. In fact, I believe we thrived on those adventures, and they were an important part of my fond memories as a child.
After a while, their figures reappeared into view, and I felt pulled back down to my reality. A small weight lifted from my chest as I saw Phin in his orange windbreaker between his two "wilderness guides".
That night, Phin recited the details to me about their walk, and I was instantly six years old again; walking down a dirt path with my cousins, searching for arrow heads, throwing rocks into the creek, and jumping from one ledge to the next, all without the the tools of modern day to comfort our parents until our return.
The hill country is where my family gathers each year, and this tradition has been happening since before I was born. I can remember many a Christmas eves spent there, with my sisters and cousins, usually always at my grandparent's house in the country. Everyone has memories of their childhood around this time of year, yet this year was was a bit different. Instead of reflecting on my own memories, I saw memories being etched in Phin's mind, memories that I know he will cherish and remember for years to come.
The setting for this years family gathering was at my aunt and uncle's ranch. They have a lot of land, when you sit on their back porch, you look out into the rolling Texas hills, without seeing the end of it. This is what I remember as a child, spending many vacations on a ranch in the county. Back then, to my cousins, my sisters and I were "city girls", but we were more like "sheltered suburbanites" looking back, and those respites from the ticky tacky suburban life I lived were a welcome change. This year, the weather could not have been more perfect, mid 60's and sunny skies were the back drop for the week in this lazy little hill country town. The one day Troy was able to drive up and spend most of the day with us was just such a day. Even in this touchscreen world we live in now, and despite the plethora of new gadgets and gizmos, the cousins spent much of the day outside, tossing a football, wielding a lightsaber, or practicing their gymnastics, all under the warm winter sky.
Troy, my sister's husband Lawrence, and Phin set out to walk the pasture for a bit. This was the first time Phin had been "off the beaten path" so to speak, and I must admit that I was a bit nervous as I watched Phin's little figure fade into the horizon of the landscape, though I was more at ease knowing that there were two adults with him if anything should happen. Two hours had passed while I sat, patiently awaiting their return. Now this goes without saying, but I am an anxious mother, one who worries way too much, so I felt that this was a big step me.
As I waited, I could not help but recall the many journeys into the country that my cousins and I ventured on as young children without two adult chaperones and a cell phone no less, and we all survived. In fact, I believe we thrived on those adventures, and they were an important part of my fond memories as a child.
After a while, their figures reappeared into view, and I felt pulled back down to my reality. A small weight lifted from my chest as I saw Phin in his orange windbreaker between his two "wilderness guides".
That night, Phin recited the details to me about their walk, and I was instantly six years old again; walking down a dirt path with my cousins, searching for arrow heads, throwing rocks into the creek, and jumping from one ledge to the next, all without the the tools of modern day to comfort our parents until our return.
6.17.2011
For a child, death is such a mystery.
Yesterday, we went to a viewing for our beloved neighbor, Tony. He passed away this weekend, just under a year since his wife Olivia passed. They were one of those couples who you admire, and wish you could emulate in your own relationships. They loved each other, their three grown boys, grandchildren, and their neighbors more than anything…they were good people.
In Phin’s short, almost five years of life, he has not been a stranger to death’s door. He was conceived out of love at the time my grandfather, JC Stewart died; was nearly born when Troy’s great uncle Pat passed; and as an infant, attended Troy’s grandmother Natalie’s funeral. Of course none of these he remembers though. We also had to put our cat, Coltrane to sleep this past year, and Phin seemed to grasp the concept then.
Seeing loss through my child’s eyes is one of the hardest things I have had to do as an adult. The first funeral I had ever been to was my grandfather’s, and I was a grown up. I don’t recall having to face death as a child, and never had to explain it before. This is what the cycle of life and death is, attempting to explain to a child what life and death is, what our bodies are for; and why we die. Questions that I don’t know the answers to, nor will I, until I too pass from this world. We try to teach our children about the world around us, without making it seem too visceral for them at such a young age, but sometimes that is impossible. Death is part of our lives, all of our lives; and as we continue to live this life, the more we get acquainted through all the lives we have shared time with and who eventually pass on.
Last night, Phin came with us to the viewing for Tony. We had not intended to take him up to the casket, but he asked us if he could see him, he persisted. We decided to not make this natural part of life so taboo, especially since he asked. He knew that “Tony” was in there, and he wanted to say goodbye. So we brought him up, and together, we all said goodbye to our dear friend and neighbor.
Phin loved Tony, he said from the backseat of the car as we left the viewing, “I’m going to miss Tony, he was our friend, one of our best friends.”
We will miss you Tony & Olivia, the best next door neighbors we have ever had.
In Phin’s short, almost five years of life, he has not been a stranger to death’s door. He was conceived out of love at the time my grandfather, JC Stewart died; was nearly born when Troy’s great uncle Pat passed; and as an infant, attended Troy’s grandmother Natalie’s funeral. Of course none of these he remembers though. We also had to put our cat, Coltrane to sleep this past year, and Phin seemed to grasp the concept then.
Seeing loss through my child’s eyes is one of the hardest things I have had to do as an adult. The first funeral I had ever been to was my grandfather’s, and I was a grown up. I don’t recall having to face death as a child, and never had to explain it before. This is what the cycle of life and death is, attempting to explain to a child what life and death is, what our bodies are for; and why we die. Questions that I don’t know the answers to, nor will I, until I too pass from this world. We try to teach our children about the world around us, without making it seem too visceral for them at such a young age, but sometimes that is impossible. Death is part of our lives, all of our lives; and as we continue to live this life, the more we get acquainted through all the lives we have shared time with and who eventually pass on.
Last night, Phin came with us to the viewing for Tony. We had not intended to take him up to the casket, but he asked us if he could see him, he persisted. We decided to not make this natural part of life so taboo, especially since he asked. He knew that “Tony” was in there, and he wanted to say goodbye. So we brought him up, and together, we all said goodbye to our dear friend and neighbor.
Phin loved Tony, he said from the backseat of the car as we left the viewing, “I’m going to miss Tony, he was our friend, one of our best friends.”
We will miss you Tony & Olivia, the best next door neighbors we have ever had.
4.17.2011
Zoo
Today we enjoyed the Austin Zoo, Phin's favorite part was the train and the gift shop. I guess its hard to beat the San Diego or Washington DC Zoo! We had a good time though.
3.18.2011
Spring Break 2011
I am not good at posting these days, but thought I would post a new picture of Troy and I enjoying some of what Austin has to offer over Spring Break, Free music at SXSW.
2.04.2011
1.30.2011
The lefty
Phin is becoming skilled with a pen, learning his letters and how to write them. He is great at copying them off the flashcards, as seen below. He ran to his desk excitedly tonight telling us that he is getting ready for Kindergarten...
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